


Roses

by CaptainJimothyCarter



Series: Tumblr Prompt Fics [45]
Category: Agent Carter (TV), Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Confusing ending, Drabble, F/M, Mysterious, No edit we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-24
Updated: 2020-10-24
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:53:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27182056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptainJimothyCarter/pseuds/CaptainJimothyCarter
Summary: It's Steve's first time getting flowers for Peggy, so he's a little nervous.
Relationships: Peggy Carter/Steve Rogers
Series: Tumblr Prompt Fics [45]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1952281
Comments: 4
Kudos: 8





	Roses

Steve took in a deep breath as he looked down at the rows and rows of flowers, all arranged in beautiful bunches. Around him, there were a few people still in the store in the late evening. He knew the owner was getting ready to close soon, he had to make his choice and go.

But what was the perfect choice then? 

This was Peggy they were talking about. She would know the language of flowers because she taught him. He understood the basics and didn’t want to show up with a bouquet that said ‘i hate your guts.’ He wanted to show up with the perfect one that said everything he couldn’t.

That would take the words right out of his mouth. He wanted Peggy to just know exactly how he felt.

When he chose the flowers, the florist simply stared at him for the longest second of his life, looking thoroughly annoyed. Maybe it was because Steve had been over here for an hour and he chose some of the most awkward looking flowers for any bouquet that made no sense.

“Special night?” he asked, using scissors to cut the flower stems and neatly arrange them in a bouquet. 

“Yeah, actually. It’s our anniversary,” Steve laughed, rubbing the back of his neck. “First time getting her flowers too.”

The man blinked, trying to connect the two before his shrug told Steve it wasn’t his problem. “Well good luck with that. Here we go.” 

Steve got the sense he wanted him out of there. Thanking him and taking the bouquet underarm, the blonde found himself stepping outside the shop in the brisk, cold air. The sun had long set, making the walk down the street cold and empty.

The flowers seemed to be the only thing of color in this place. The only thing that brought joy to an otherwise dreary neighborhood. 

Kneeling by the gravestone, his fingertips brushed the fallen leaves off and set the bouquet in their spot. His eyes fell onto Peggy’s name, tracing over it before a shuddering sigh left his chest.

“Seems to be that I’m always late, darling,” he whispered, bending down to press his forehead to the cold marble. Just a year too late for her, just a year too late to tell her he was alive so she could go in peace. 

She died, believing he was dead and Steve didn’t know which was worst.

Peggy didn’t deserve to die at all. She deserved to be immortal. To live a long, healthy life, not to die in her sleep.

“Hey, Pegs,” he breathed, sitting up to look down at the white marble again. “Things are-are going okay, I guess. SHIELD is working me pretty hard, but it keeps me busy. Don’t get much time to think about anything, so I suppose that’s good. Looked up Bucky’s family - his sister is still alive. Just barely, she’s a fighter, like she’s always been. She’s been telling me about all that you did for her after...after the war ended. They wouldn’t have survived without your help.”

The marble is cold to touch, the sun has done nothing to warm it. The evening wind and the threat of snow sap any warmth that should’ve been there. 

“Looked into the-the Howlies. They’re all gone, Pegs. Dugan died shortly after you did, ole fucker didn’t want to...to be the last, I bet. Hurts like hell, but I-I suppose that’s life. People grow old and die and forget and...and…” His breath hitched and he bit the inside of his lip, trying his best not to cry. 

“I shoulda told you I loved you from the start. Or maybe it’s best I didn’t, maybe it’s best the way this happened, me crashing the plane and waking up here and wondering what could’ve been. Not leaving you with the reality that I-I said I loved you. Would that had been harder to move on from? Hell if I know. Feels like anything I know is taken from me. The whole world knows me and yet I don’t know a damn thing about it. Truth is…”

He adjusted the purple bow and stroked over the soft material before dropping his hands. 

“Truth is, Pegs, I do love you. I ain’t gonna stop loving you. Been goin’ to therapy cause I know that’s what you’d want of me, to get better for myself, to stop this moping. Ain’t much but a bunch of us veterans sitting around in a circle. They do most of the talking. I can sympathize with them, but I don’t know much of what they went through. Found a few World War II veterans and we’ve been talking it’s...so odd to see faces I barely remember in the 107th...they can relate more.”

The tears are the only thing warm on him, not for long. They dry and nearly freeze to his skin. He’s not even aware he’s crying right now. He doesn’t want to cry. There’s no point in crying.

“I don’t know what to say, what I-I should say. There’s so much I want to say but I can’t find the words. So much I wanna ask about you, about your life. Did you know Howard has a son? Of course, you do...you were on top of him. Or-or...that I love you. Gods, Pegs, I love you. I think about you far too much and yet not enough. I think about what could’ve been. Our dance. I would step on your shoes. You would laugh. Our life. Working together to make a better future. Peggy, I...am so proud of your work…”

The bouquet brustled in the wind and Steve sniffled, rubbing his nose on the back of his hand. Right, the bouquet. He nearly forgot about that.

“I gotcha a bouquet. Promised you I’d get you flowers back in the war, but they were...never right for you. It’s got daisies, means innocence, right? Sunflowers cause you said my hair reminded you of sunflowers, but-but it means loyalty, adoration. Tulips they-they means love too and oh roses because you...you deserve the best. Shoulda saw me, Pegs, I was helpless choosing…”

Steve could sleep here. He had before when he first woke up. Slept right on top of her grave, didn’t mean to either, his body just felt too exhausted to walk home. He’d taken the time the next day to clean hers and his ma’s, even take time to clean Bucky’s. He carefully avoided his own. It felt wrong to look at when he stood outside of it here.

The moon was high above them by the time Steve left, nose dripping with snot and eyes burning with tears as he stumbled out of the graveyard. Too dark to try to see around him, too much into his head to check his surroundings.

He didn’t see the figure that stepped out from the trees or watch it approach the newly laid bouquet. Later that night, he would be fast asleep, unknowingly aware that someone was in his room. Fingernails that were painted red would stroke through his blonde hair before adjusting the sheets around him. They will lay the rose and bow on the bedside table, directly over the compass.

A soft kiss, the barest of touches would be laid on his temple, and for once, Steve’s face smoothed out of all wrinkles, for once he looked so at peace.


End file.
